Thursday, 26 February 2009

The Top 3 Harshest of Harsh Punishments by the Greek Gods.

So, we all know that the Greek Gods were hard as nails but maybe some of the punishments they dealt out were a bit on top, take the following three tales for example;



IO -

Zeus liked to play the field. One of the hunnies he liked to mess with was a slammin’ betty named IO. One day they were getting it on, when Zeus’ jealous wife (Hera) rolls up on them. Not wanting to get caught, Zeus quickly turned IO into a cow. Hera wasn’t completely fooled though so she demanded the cow as a gift.

Her Punishment - Poor IO really didn’t do anything wrong. Sure she was grabbing her ankles for Zeus, but what would’ve happened if she had said no? Exactly. Eventually Zeus decides he wants her back so he gets Hermes to kill Argus (who was gaurding IO in her cow state). The now very jealous (and bat shit crazy) Hera just became more upset and had a gadfly chase down IO, stinging her in the ass, so she could never rest again.



Arachne -

Archne was a weaver, and a damn good one. Like many people who become the best at something, she slowly started to develop a monster ego. She even went so far as to tell people that she could out weave Athena (the goddess of wisdom and war as well as the weaving arts). Athena gets pissed, disguises herself, and challenges Archne to a ‘weave off’. Arachne weaves up several portraits of the gods displaying infidelity (oops). Although the tapestry was flawless, it sent Athena into a rage.

Her Punishment - Athena (now pissed) completely destroys Arachne’s work, and touches her forehead. Doing so instilled the notion of guilt upon her. This sent Arachne into a depression and eventually she hanged herself. Now feeling bad that Arachne had off’d herself, Athena decides to bring her back to life…as a fucking spider.




Actaeon -



Actaeon was a hunter who spent his days chasing wild life with his hound dogs. One afternoon he was hunting in the woods when he stumbled across Artemis who was bathing. Like any heterosexual male, he took a moment to admire her cans.

His Punishment - Artemis didn’t like the fact that she was being stared at by a nobody, so she cursed him with forbidden speech. Talking would result in a shape shift. Basically he had to shut the fuck up for the rest of his life or he would turn into a deer. Sadly, he couldn’t keep quiet long and he tried to call out to his hunting party. Upon doing so, he was turned into a stag and ripped to pieces by his own dogs. Pretty steep fine for accidentally stumbling across a set of tits.

The majority of this was written by Jason and pilfered from his original post here; http://regretfulmorning.com/2009/02/8-overkill-punishments-dished-out-by-greek-gods/

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